60+40 = 2013

2013 is my 60 and 40 year--lived 60 years, married 40.  Having reached the mid-point of this transitional year, and having a day off after Independence Day, I became "reflective."

I don't consider myself to be a "senior citizen" (big surprise) but I'm guessing most younger folks are thinkin' that way about me (rightly!)...in much the same way I thought about "60 Something's" back in 1978.  While I don't "see" myself that way now, truth is, I can certainly see "that place" from here.

Life is so much shorter than I ever imagined it would be, and so much more than I ever dreamed it could be.  My cup isn't half-full, it overflows..

• In High School a guy named Mark Zier walked into my life and lovingly led me to a life-changing decesion to trust Christ; then he introduced me to a girl who eventually became my for-life companion.
• I have been blessed by that girl, Laura Cherrie, who became my wife (we were both 19), help-mate, mother of and for our children, my best friend and companion, for 40 years and counting!
• Neither of my parents were college grads and when the time came for me to enroll, my father died; there was no money for higher education.  God provided, first at Duke where I received my BA and then at Talbot Seminary where I earned an MDiv, without any student loans.
• God blessed us with two children.  Erin and Joseph have made me so proud because of the people they have become; honest, engaging, generous, interesting, good-hearted young adults; and two of my closest friends.
• Our kids selected two wonderful people to share their lives with, Matthew and Miranda.  They have enriched our lives in so many ways.
• We have two grandsons.  Braden and Kellen make us laugh, give us hope for their future, love us in a special way unique to our role in their lives and enjoy hanging-out with us.
• I have enjoyed two modestly successful careers centered around helping people; for 25 years as their Pastor, and for the last 12, I'm the "good neighbor" that takes the "scarey" out of risk as their State Farm Agent.
• Over the years I've witnessed lives change in long-term, very profound ways; I played a part in that process as a tool in the Master's Hand; what a privilege those moments of been.
• While I have experienced disappointment and (big surprise) betrayal in and from friends, my life has been enriched because of folks who've come alongside and embraced me (changed me) with their friendship.
• I have traveled with people through the most difficult intersections of life, prayed with them and waited; then watched God do what only He can do..."exceeding, abundantly beyond anything we could ask or imagine."
• Laura has loved me and patiently waited for me to become the man she needed and so richly deserves.
• The roles (my work) I have chosen to invest my energy in, have been challenging and rewarding.  Not once have I felt trapped doing what has been my life's work.  It's been too much fun!
• My girlfriend's dad, (future father-in-law) stepped into my life as the man I needed when, at age 17, my father died.  Gene continues to be a rock for me.
• Mentors invested time and tears in me; taught me, listened to me and believed in me. 
• Life has softened me.  Tenderness comes easy today.

I am blessed by a rich tapestry of memories, some good and not.  These confirm what most people eventually realize: there are regrets, there are a few special people and scores of wonderful events; these images remain clear to the smallest detail, I'm smiling.

There has been failure, good fortune and difficulty; pain, lost dreams, heartbreak and victory.  But through it all runs a story; my story, of God's grace transforming me, using me, teaching me and most amazingly, loving me with an everlasting, undeserved love.

Life, so short and so full.  Praise God from whom all blessings flow.

A city set on a hill...

December 1, 1862 Abraham Linclon reminded the nation: America is  "the last best hope of the earth."   Though often reviled around the world, I believe that President Lincoln's premise has been demonstrated time after time over the past 141 years.

May God contine to bless America; may He empower us to be people of character and good will; with generous hearts, brilliant minds and dynamic vision...for making tHis world a better place.  

A city set on a hill, cannot be hidden.

Grace wins.

Huffington Post..."WASHINGTON -- The Defense of Marriage Act, the law barring the federal government from recognizing same-sex marriages legalized by the states, is unconstitutional, the Supreme Court ruled Wednesday by a 5-4 vote.

'The federal statute is invalid, for no legitimate purpose overcomes the purpose and effect to disparage and to injure those whom the State, by its marriage laws, sought to protect in personhood and dignity,' Justice Anthony Kennedy wrote in the majority opinion. 'By seeking to displace this protection and treating those persons as living in marriages less respected than others, the federal statute is in violation of the Fifth Amendment.'"


An urgent letter to my friends who identify themselves as followers of Jesus...

"Yesterday (June 26, 2013) The Supreme Court published its opinion on United States v. Windsor.  The sun came up this morning, as it always has.  A new day.  Here's the reality: nothing has changed.  As believers we are called to love the world as Christ loved the world, unconditionally, and be instruments of grace and healing.  

If history teaches us anything, it's that culture, people, tend to go the way they're going. The Court's opinion simply affirms what history so clearly demonstrates.  As a believer my mission has not changed one bit.  This ruling serves to underscore the urgency (NOT to fall back and counterattack) of what God has called me to do personally, within my spheres of influence, and corporately, through my community of faith; seek to demonstrate the love of God in tangible ways that will move people closer to personal faith in Christ. This means I must do everything I can to make hard lives easier--regardless of the spiritual outcome. 

My church (the community of believers regardless of religious tradition) must understand that it is not about us; about making the world bend to what makes us comfortable and secure.  It's about the world.  We should expect that people who have not embraced the reality of God's love, will choose to live in ways that do not reflect that reality.  This fact should not repel us, it should compel us to resolve to love those not like us in the same way that God loves them--generously, redemptively, graciously. This is faithfulness to God's vision for His church, and His world."

Grace wins.

The Love of God and hope...

Grateful today that in 1968 I embraced the Risen Christ.

He paid a debt He did not owe, because of His great love and the Father's grace.  It's been 45 years.  I've experienced real transformation; a day does not slip by that I don't reflect on how different my life has been because of a very simple, heartfelt prayer.

More than this, I have confidence, assurance that "It is well with my soul."   He has promised..."No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord."    Romans 8.39

Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible, and 45 years "of Christ in me, the hope of glory," tells me so.

Maranatha!

Help!

Listening to the Beatles tune "Help."

It occurs to me, "what a tremendous insight into what happens to us as we move into the final third of our lives."

This is a time filled with tradoffs.  While we can't "do it all" anymore, the tenderness we experience as our spouses, kids, and friends "stand in the gaps" is profound. 

Life is good.

Paradise Found...

Summer.
Deck brittle with age, surrounded by color, a wall.
Satin petals: Red, Pink, Ivory, Maize.
Thorns a reminder: look, don't touch.

Water droplets perfectly formed, wait to escape.
Bees busy, a harvest of nectar.
Woman sits, watches, filled with joy at the sight.

She labors with tender care.
Scarred by thorns, undaunted.
She plants, she feeds, she waters.

The full bloom of her effort,
a feast for the eyes
Delicious to smell.

Autum.
Sun's path plunges
colors blaze then fade.
Not an end; pause, to rest.

Winter.
In time she protects for the deep white sleep of winter.
Well covered. Glory there still, but not.
They wait.

Spring.
She prepares the soil, a feast.
They awake from slumber, race to come out.
Canes the channel of life, carry lovely crowns through voyage to summer.

Summer.
In full bloom they linger.
Celebrated, loved; a reminder,
In the begining God...

Memorial Day...Postscript

This evening, after a lively family meal, I spoke with my Grandsons about Memorial Day and all the angst we feel on this National day of remembrance.  Then we watched the first 20 minutes of Saving Private Ryan...a poignant essay of ordinary people doing extraordinary things; the valor, the loss, the grief we all share.  

May God protect our troops and bless our Nation.  bN 

Taps begin.

Taps begin.
Time adds little perspective.

Death in a hostile place, a time not chosen.
Cities hard to pronounce; countries hard to find.
Cause, clarity clouded, confused; hard to recall.

Taps begin.

Time dulls memory. 
Pace pushes people on.
Space vacated, empty, gone.
Place dissolves, no trace; so it seems.

Taps begin.
Time stands still; this I remember. 
Their laughter, their scent.
First smile, first step, first word, first love.
A Friday night; life was simple.
The future, a certain dream, bullet proof; not.

Taps begin.

Time release; tears flow freely.
Pride in lives well lived.
Grieving for lives given; invested and gone.
The loss, the pain; broken plans, broken hearts; shattered.

Taps begin.

Now it is time; whisper their names.
Soldiers, Sailors, Marines, Airmen.
Duty, honor, country; their last full measure.
No greater love, their sacrifice.

In peace, now rest.
Forget not, ever.

Lost and Found.

Loss. I've had my share over the years.

Two weeks after I graduated from High School, my father died, I was 17. In 1984, just after my 31st birthday, my mother died . I was 38 when I learned I had diabetes. I began a "rest of my life" battle with skin cancer in 1996, at age 43. Disappointment...oh my, where do I start. Failure--several crushing instances. Unrealized dreams, of course.

My story isn't unique. It's called, "being human." Loss is just a part of the "living experience." Life is hard, and, can be very harsh. Loss, though we all face it, is not simply a one size fits all process. For some, loss means never experiencing "what could have been." For others it's remembering "what was." For all of us it's losing people we love, to death. Life's "Harsh passages" include broken relationships, disease, tragic accidents, children "lost" in adolescence and never able to move on to productive adult lives, addiction, betrayal, unfaithful spouses and/or friends...have I described your "loss-story" yet?

A few years ago an extended family member, and friend, facing a number of very difficult circumstances posted a comment about loss, she concluded, "Easy to be philiosophical...easy to be grateful too." As I paused to reflect on her words, I was struck by this profound insight.

"Easy to be grateful too..."  Really?  We can't, generally, control loss. Bad things happen to good (and bad) people. We can, however, control our attitude and our response to loss. We can ask "why me?" or we can declare "why NOT me!" That's the "philosophical" part.

The "grateful" part comes when, our pain notwithstanding, we aren't swallowed by bitterness; through the darkness of the moment, we still see the sunshine we've experienced over the years--as well as the expectation that the sun will shine again. Loss frames our perspective. It reminds us of the providence of God and the blessings we enjoy and have enjoyed through the ebb and flow of life. It's ironic, loss and gratitude are two sides of the same coin. Tennyson understood this when he penned "It's better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all."

The sentiment that struck me as so profound was "easy." It just never occurred to my friend to not be grateful. The emotional and spiritual place that she "lives" made gratitude a logical extension, not of her pain, but of His promise. The Psalmist (42.5) said it this way..

"Why am I discouraged?

Why is my heart so sad?

I will put my hope in God!

I will praise him again—

my Savior and my God."

Loss isn't abandonment. It isn't the death of hope. It's an intersection of life where one can step back and see life not just for what it isn't, but for what it is; it's at that place, in that moment, we see the goodness of God, and it's easy to be grateful.

Lost and found. A fitting description.

If birds can sing...

Spring is off to a very slow start, even for Northern Indiana.

Last Saturday morning I was spreading mulch in the beds around our office building.  I began to notice the birds vocalizing--a song to the human ear.  I thought it was curious given the wind, rain, sleet then snow we encountered that morning.  But there they were, intent on doing what birds do.  They sang, I groused (pun intended).

Their internal calendar told the birds "it's Spring."  They sing with confidence because they know, intuitively, that regardless of what the weather may be like today, it's Spring, and it's going to feel like Spring sooner than later. 

It occurred to me this morning, off to another blustery start, as I listened to them sing outside my window, I can do that too.  I know my life is "hidden with Christ in God," and even though it doesn't feel like that today, it will, sooner than later.

Colossians 3.2-4 "Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth. 3 For you have died and your life is hidden with Christ in God. 4 When Christ, who is our life, is revealed, then you also will be revealed with Him in glory."

He put a new song in my heart.  Sing.   bN