Lost and found...

Loss. I've had my share over the years.

Two weeks after I graduated from High School, my father died, I was 17. In 1984, just after my 31st birthday, my mother died . I was 38 when I learned I had diabetes. I began a "rest of my life" battle with skin cancer in 1996, at age 43. Disappointment...oh my, where do I start. Failure--several crushing instances. Unrealized dreams, of course.

My story isn't unique. It's called, "being human." Loss is just a part of the "living experience." Life is hard, and, can be very harsh. Loss, though we all face it, is not simply a one size fits all process. For some, loss means never experiencing "what could have been." For others it's remembering "what was." For all of us it's losing people we love, to death. Life's "Harsh passages" include broken relationships, disease, tragic accidents, children "lost" in adolescence and never able to move on to productive adult lives, addiction, betrayal, unfaithful spouses and/or friends...have I described your "loss-story" yet?

Recently, an extended family member, and friend, facing a number of very difficult circumstances posted a comment about loss, she concluded, "Easy to be philiosophical...easy to be grateful too." As I paused to reflect on her words, I was struck by this profound insight.

"Easy to be grateful too..."  Really?  We can't, generally, control loss. Bad things happen to good (and bad) people. We can, however, control our attitude and our response to loss. We can ask "why me?" or we can declare "why NOT me!" That's the "philosophical" part.

The "grateful" part comes when, our pain notwithstanding, we aren't swallowed by bitterness; through the darkness of the moment, we still see the sunshine we've experienced over the years--as well as the expectation that the sun will shine again. Loss frames our perspective. It reminds us of the providence of God and the blessings we enjoy and have enjoyed through the ebb and flow of life. It's ironic, loss and gratitude are two sides of the same coin. Tennyson understood this when he penned "It's better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all."

The sentiment that struck me as so profound was "easy." It just never occurred to my friend to not be grateful. The emotional and spiritual place that she "lives" made gratitude a logical extension, not of her pain, but of His promise. The Psalmist (42.5) said it this way..

"Why am I discouraged?

Why is my heart so sad?

I will put my hope in God!

I will praise him again—

my Savior and my God."

Loss isn't abandonment. It isn't the death of hope. It's an intersection of life where one can step back and see life not just for what it isn't, but for what it is; it's at that place, in that moment, we see the goodness of God, and it's easy to be grateful.

Lost and found. A fitting description.

When will spring come?

This is the hardest part of the weather calendar in N. Indiana.

The caldendar says it's spring, reality says "it's ugly."  Things are ready to go, mowers have been serviced, hedge has been trimmed.  Irrigation system is functional again.  Bud's are on the trees and bushes...the evergreens aren't just green now, they are awake!  Robin's are busy being the "dirty birds" of the neigborhood.  Lily tracks fresh scent everywhere we go.  We are ready, where is spring?

It feels like Thanksgiving Day when I was a little  boy.  Would our guests and extended family ever arrive...

"Mom, how soon will they be here?"  

"Pretty soon BJ."  

"Mom do you think they're still coming?" 

"BJ, they will all be here, just like last year." 

"But mom, we are ready, where is everyone?" 

"They are on the way."  

"Then where are they?"  

"BJ, why don't you wait outside for them, greet them when they arrive."  

"I think they changed their mind, they aren't coming this year." 

That's the way our conversation advanced every year.  A little boy, anticipating a favorite event, thinking it would never happen...but it always did.

I'm ready but spring just hasn't arrived...yet.  When it does come and the days slip quickly into summer...the memory of this misery becomes dim, almost dream like.  Every day a new color explodes some place along my route to the office.  It's warm, balmy...with life sustaining showers from time to time.

There are many "seasons" in our lives...they come, they go--some are better than others; they make life interesting and always produce something my memory clings to, which produces a life-time of pleasure and expands my perspective.

Yes, spring hasn't arrived but summer's comin'.  It will be OK, sooner than later.  I can wait, the memories from "seasons past" will sustain me.

Praise God from whom all blessings flow!

Truth is...

Truth is to living what physics is to life.

We can't "see, smell or hear" the laws of physics, but without them, nothing works; that which we do see, smell and hear is the result of these laws being applied with purpose or spontaneously.

In the same way truth is the rail living rides on. Ethics, the rule of law, cultural norms, relationships, parenting, good government, freedom--to name but a few aspects of living--all work based on a set of core values, derived from the common grace of God, who wired humankind with an intrinsic sense of what truth is and an understanding of what's "right."

Truth, like physics, does not function in a deterministic way. I can ingore Newton's Law of Gravity and embrace a belief that I can float, then step of top of a tall building. Newton's Law does not override my choice. But my choice to embrace and believe I can float will not prevent a very bad outcome.

I can believe that truth is relative, subject to change, given to multiple definitions or simply an outdated cultural moray. People, and cultures, can choose to ignore the truth, or worse, be deceived and believe a lie--at great peril. The result/reality of these choices is sobering. Living spirals out of control. Chaos trumps the rule of law, justice becomes a myth, bondage becomes the norm and brokeness the face of a nation.

Life does not work without physics.  Living does not work without truth.