Friday, June 5, 2015

Today.


Today a gift; time, breath, life.  Now what?
Horizon indigo-blue dawn.
Sweet slumber, my retreat.
Moments with God, my hope.

Today wished away?
Sundance East.
Love's gentle touch, my confidence. 
Grands smiles, my delight.

Today mine to squander, make great?
Sun blazes zenith, Noon.
Disapointment, my challenge.
Sweet fragance, my respite.

Today spent, invested?
Moon reflects suns glory, sublime beauty.
Kind word, my comfort.
Quiet reflection, my strength.

Today, something of significance to last?
Here, gone.
All I have, all I need.
I will rejoice and be glad.

bN tGit

Praying through Cancer, June 2015

June 10, 2015...
Father-in-heaven, we are grateful...for respite, for healing; grateful for tender words, fervent prayers; grateful for this BraveHart community; grateful that You understand us, that you embrace us regardless of circumstance. Give us clarity--especially in our distress--to remember Your great faithfulness, You are there when we can't take another step, there when rest renews us, there when fear threatens us. You restore our hope, give us vision for life. Now give us confidence that whatever comes next, we can trust You to carry the day for us; wisdom to focus on "today." Make it a GRACE day for Braden, Kellen, Erin and Matthew. Through Christ, let it be.

June 9, 2015...
'After our whirlwind hospital stay last week and over the weekend we had a great check-up today! Braden's counts had fully recovered, his mouth looked almost completely healed, and his pain level was at a 3. All of these were as good as they have been in the last month! We are hopeful that this continues and that he has a restful and relaxing week of recovery. No chemo until Monday!'  Matthew

June 8, 2015...
"Feeling kind of down because my youth group is at camp this week, just looking forward to when I can participate again."  Braden

"Because if you Braden, I have been praying more than I have in a long time. Thank for inspiring me, by being a great role model and being an example to the power of prayer. Praise the Lord!"   
Thom Herskowitz, Belize


"You will son, my prayers are always for you."  Craig Brizendine, TN

"Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from him. Truly he is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken." Psalm 62  
Ryan Claudin, San Diego, CA


June 6, 2015...
"Been meditating on this verse for quite a while, and find myself praying this over you this week. I'm so grateful we have a God who knows all your fears, anguish, pain, knows exactly what you need and will accomplish all that concerns you. Grateful to pray for you, sweet Braden....'What are you, mighty mountain? Before Zerubbabel you will become level ground. Then he will bring out the capstone to shouts of ‘God bless it! God bless it!’ ” Zechariah 4:7  Karen Dickson, Santa Barbara CA

June 5, 2015...
"My mouth seems to be slightly better today, but I still feel broken, and I still feel unable to enjoy the normal everyday blessings that I would normally treasure, such as eating and being with family... It doesn't seem fair. I understand that I should find joy in suffering, and in fact I do, at least afterwards, when everything gets physically better, but right now my suffering is so immense and so strong that at feel like I'm never going to get better. I have never experienced such physical pain in my entire life than I have in the past two days and continuing... Right now I feel like God isn't answering my prayers regarding pain. I can strongly feel God when I pray to him, I know he is there. But I am growing weary, I am tired of this, I'm ready for it to be over! I have showed great strength throughout my treatment and I have proven to handle my pain very well, but the suffering that I am going through at this moment is far worst than it has ever been, and I have spent hours crying out to The Lord for relief, but it has not come to me. I feel lost in my own faith, and i feel stuck in this hospital, since they won't let me out until my pain wares away. Why does this treatment seem to get worse? Why do I have to suffer this much? Haven't I already learned to be humble and learned to enjoy the blessings in life that normal people don't? I need relief and I need healing, Jesus, please listen to me and please heal my mouth! I need you more than ever right now! I want my life to go back to normal. Please, god, I want this to be over. I have already been humbled. I now need relief, but I don't know what to do."   Braden

"I know this stinks buddy, but think of the amazing songs and chapters that you will soon be able to write once this is all done. You are a living testimony and I'm so proud of you! Keep pushing through! We can and will get through this! You will be able to understand all those that are hurting just like you are. I love you!"  
Matthew
"There are hundreds, if not thousands, of people walking in spirit with you. I so wish we could each be given a hundredth of your pain, so we could help it go away. We will pray, and lean on God to reveal Himself to you in ways you couldn't have imagined. Peace and lessened pain on you today, brave one."  Donna Wallace Hilldebrand,  Medford OR

"I am confident God will bring you through this and this time next year things will look VERY different from today. You will have such a unique testimony to share with your peers on appreciating life and the things that become mundane to us. So sorry you're suffering now."  Alysha Rachelle 


"I'm confident God will bring you through this and this time next year things will look VERY different from today. You will have such a unique testimony to share with your peers on appreciating life and the things that become mundane to us. So sorry you're suffering now."  Rob-Amy Haworth Elkhart IN

Thanksgiving for Deliverance from Death: Psalm 30
A Psalm; a Song at the Dedication of the House. A Psalm of David.

"I will extol You, O Lord, for You have lifted me up, 
And have not let my enemies rejoice over me.
2 O Lord my God,
I cried to You for help, and You healed me.
3 O Lord, You have brought up my soul from Sheol;
You have kept me alive, that I would not go down to the pit.
4 Sing praise to the Lord, you His godly ones,
And give thanks to His holy name.,
5 For His anger is but for a moment,
His favor is for a lifetime;
Weeping may last for the night,
But a shout of joy comes in the morning.
6 Now as for me, I said in my prosperity,
“I will never be moved.”
7 O Lord, by Your favor You have made my mountain to stand strong;
You hid Your face, I was dismayed.
8 To You, O Lord, I called,
And to the Lord I made supplication:
9 “What profit is there in my blood, if I go down to the pit?
Will the dust praise You? Will it declare Your faithfulness?
10 “Hear, O Lord, and be gracious to me;
O Lord, be my helper.”
11 You have turned for me my mourning into dancing;
You have loosed my sackcloth and girded me with gladness,
12 That my [d]soul may sing praise to You and not be silent.
O Lord my God, I will give thanks to You forever.

'...A shout of joy comes in the morning.' Hang on dearest Grandson. Healing will come. 'Read David...he is a man who suffered much and brings us great understanding in our suffering."  Gpa Baier


"Braden, I'm so sorry for all of this. It's not fair. Somehow we live in a universe where some really, really hard stuff. Honestly, I don't believe God gets up in the morning and decides to "lay" junk on folks. But I believe God loves you like you can't imagine. God's love is with you every easy and tough moment. And God wins in the end....."  Mark Fenstemacher, Bloomington IN

"Honest agonizing before God and us, your support team! You're a man after God's own heart, just like King David in the Psalms! We're with you!"  Sharon Parker, Ventura CA


"Hey Braden Hartman time for a pep talk. You know that I recently beat cancer ‪#‎5monthsout‬ !!!!! I didn't have a aggressive cancer I had what was known as a easy cancer bhahahhah if there is even a easy cancer.it just meant highly cureable. But no it put up a fight. I didn't eat for 4 weeks!!!!! Not to mention the nights I laid on the ground on a hot night setting my heating blanket to 9 trying not to puke or ya all over my self. What about the night I was laying in bed and my mouth felt as if it were broken. I couldn't talk or anything! Or benadryl I went to sleep fine and woke up ready to puke my guts up and unable to even sit up! I lost 55 pounds in 3 months from my cancer...... That's not healthy. But can I tell u something? God didn't give u this. God would never punish or harm his people however, I believe science. maybe DNA did mess up and cause it however, I believe Jesus will stand by my side. I believe he created me.but he doesn't believe that just because my body malfunctioned that I was a mistake Jesus doesn't make mistakes.Jesus walked beside me behind me carrying me in thorns and its a thick bush so I got stuck at times by the thorn. When you are when, you are at the end. I didn't understand why I was so sick (longest time at the hospital was 3 weeks and 6 days!) I began feeling as if my body became undone. Unwrapping myself and its just cancer biting one last time. Its like a mean spider you go to smash it and u miss and it bites you putting poision in you just so it could win it doesn't do it again yet hides in the same place waiting for you to return.but once you know you spray the house of spider repellent and heal from the wound you will be free again. I also believe its Jesus saying Braden I don't feel like you feel the same way torwards food friends and etc u may like it but something is missing and let me tell you! When u beat cancer and u get those small milestones its beautiful I mean I have pictures of me when I had barely any hair but it was there..... I took a pic of pizza lol I did everything! Point is Braden only the strongest get weak cry and beg but the survivors find ways to beat it. Pretend (well not really bcs its true) that cancer is a person who is trying to kill you and fight until you can't any more dream of your victory dream of what it would or should look like. Its possible braden . you just have to fight 

Hugs 💝 from a survivor to a fighter."  
Kerry Kopas, Indianapolis IN


"May the HOLY SPIRIT ... the 'Comforter' ... indeed comfort you Braden. Thank you for sharing your heart Braden. You may not realize it now, but your words are very powerful for those of us who read them. You are so GIFTED Braden ... GOD has EMPOWERED you in ways we don't yet understand. I do know this ... your words are also empowering many others who are suffering, who are broken hearted ... your words are bringing so many of us to our LORD in prayer for you Braden. Bringing us closer to HIM ... which pleases HIM for sure. I'm so sorry for your pain, but Braden, Oh so very happy you are sharing this moment in your beautiful, long blessed life with us. You ROCK Braden! May our LORD GOD continue to bless you and all those who love and care for you."  Connie Maxey, Redding CA

"Braden, this is why you surround yourself with people who pray. We will petition God for relief for you. What you're experiencing doesn't make any sense to you, to your family or to anyone else who might hear of it. You did nothing to deserve the pain. I admire your courage to admit your brokenness. It allows us to be your strength when you cannot. God is hearing your name from hundreds. I hope you can find some comfort in that."   Julie Keith Smies, Granger, IN

June 5, 2015...
Father-in-heaven, come to us with relief. Come to us with courage. Come to us with endurance. Come to us with joy. Grant to us more than consolation, bless us with delight in knowing that Your strength is made perfect through our weakness. We cry out to you in our weakness, asking for mercy to stand firm, to bear up under this suffering, to heal and restore Braden. Do not allow our distress to diminish our faith--may our gaze be transfixed by the suffering of the Savior and in this season of our intense suffering, may that vision bring us to a deep, profound and bold understanding of Your love for us--its depth, mystery and power. May that understanding empower us with a compelling, effective voice that speaks of Your love to a world without hope, a world without love, a world without a future. Give us a big vision, not in spite of our suffering, but BECAUSE of our suffering. May this prospect fill us with resolve to endure until Your plan achieves its perfect result in our lives. Through Christ, let it be.

June  4, 2015...
"Swelling is down dramatically and no fever since late afternoon yesterday. Lord, grant us all strength, rest, and continued improvement today!"
   Matthew

June 4, 2015...
"Came across some pics of Braden that made me smile. Praying for you bud!"  Uncle Kevin Hartman  Elkhart, IN


June 4.2015...
11.22pm "Today I have experienced to worst pain I have ever endured, the entire onside of my mouth and throat feels like triple the pain of a canker sore, please continue to pray for me."  Braden

"Well I guess tomorrow is the last day of school, and I wish i could be there so much. Honestly I wish I didn't have cancer and I wouldn't be in the horrible suffering that I am in now. Heavenly Father, why have you brought this trial to such an extreme extent? Why do I have to endure so much pain? Haven't I already gone through enough? Well, I know your overall plans for me are good, and I just ask, Lord, that you would take the pain away, and let me eat normal again without pain. Lift me out of this hospital and restore my health, and let me enjoy family and school. I will serve you. With my life and my body, and so I ask that you would heal my body, as it is your holy temple. Father, please give me strengh to finish this, and lord, please make this the last of mouth sores and oral suffering that I endure throughout this process. In your holy name I pray, Amen."  Braden

"You are loved with an everlasting love. I take great comfort in knowing that you know this. He will carry you through this, moment by moment. Celebrate the good days, lean hard into him on the difficult days--and keep looking up. Through Christ, let it be."  Gpa Baier


"Every day I pray, Braden. No one can really know how really difficult this is for you. Your strength and faith gives us all hope. It's plenty OK to cry out to God. Didn't Job? I think you've just added another chapter to Lamentations and a righteously good one at that. God be with you, son."  Terry Beall, Houston TX

"You've have so many prayers coming from Santa Barbara area of Southern California and now specifically for your mouth and throat to feel such relief you will be asking for cheese cake very soon. Keep reaching out to your Bravehart prayer warriors, as you just did, so all can know your needs. God Bless you Braden."  Debi Lee, Solvang CA

J
une 3, 2015...
7.46am Father-in-heaven--endurance. Through Christ, let it be.

11.41am "The following is not an attempt to speak for God, but
rather an attempt to share the encouraging heart of the our Father that I have come to know.  I love you. My love is sometimes difficult to feel, but feelings are fleeting and my love is not.  I know that I ask much of you, but not more than I myself have given.......all that I have is yours.  I want you to know that nothing you sacrifice or endure as you trust in me is in vain, or will be forgotten. You are my son, you are my daughter, and even now you share in my glory.  Look just ahead. The darkness of this night is giving way to the morning I have prepared for you. Be hopeful in these few remaining hours. My glory and the things to come, no one has imagined."  Ryan Claudin San Diego, CA

12.38pm
 "Father in heaven, You are all-knowing, all-powerful and ever-present. Your word promises that "those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength...." You know that Braden and his entire family have their eyes on you and their hope anchored in You. Amaze them today with Your peace, presence and power. Amen"  Leonard DeWitt, Ventura CA

"I just prayed what Pastor DeWitt prayed. Amen, and amen."  Donna Wallace Hilldebrand

4.39pm "Braden has been admitted again. He is having some swelling in his mouth and now has a fever. Pray for the fever and swelling to subside quickly and for the doctors to figure out what's causing the symptoms."  Matthew

June 1, 2015...
"Braden, we prayed up a storm for you this morning at 6:00 am, Vancouver time. Love and blessing to you and your entire family. Love from Canada."   Tanya Scardera Surrey BC, Canada

June 1, 2015...
"Enjoying my sketchbook from Mrs. McKee's class while waiting for the MRI"  Braden
"You know I still have those drawings you made for me when you were so much younger. I'm going to bring them with me next time I see you, so you can sign them. They will/are priceless. I think you were about 5 or 6. They are amazing and you are even more amazing now. Love you."  Aunt Tamara Baier Manna

"Is that a picture of an anti-cancer drug??"  Bob Brownlee, WA

"A testimony of God's faithfulness at many levels! Braden's gift in art, God's faithful and sovereign plan, His healing hand, His strength and courage, giving hope, to name a few..."
Karen Hayes, Sylmar CA

June 1, 2015...
1.33 pm "Prayer warriors we need your help! Braden has had some numbness return in his cheek. As a precaution, doctors have scheduled an MRI for this afternoon. Please pray for a clear MRI and for the numbness to be caused by radiation recall, scar tissue, or something else minor."  Matthew

5.02pm "Update: MRI results are in and the doctor is pleased with the results. The tumor has shrunk from all angles. Within the remaining Tumor, there is evidence of necrosis(dying tumor). This is obviously very good! Although the doctors were pleased, we are a little disappointed that it's still there at all. We need to continue to pray that the tumor continues to react to treatment and that the radiation is continuing to take affect. I am reminded of the fact that God is rarely early, but never late!"  Matthew

7.34pm "I am going to keep speaking death to the tumor, and abundant life to Braden, and family. Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty!"  Danny Young, Denver CO